Sep 22, 2007

Chris and Pat

I love the song The Ballad of Chris and Pat by Jody Kessler. It speaks to the commonality of love and relationships, no matter the gender.

what divides us is fear, what unites us is love
we must ask ourselves what we're afraid of
for no matter what manner of loving we choose
it's the love that our spirits is made of

I agree with Dana's belief that traditional marriage is a flawed institution. Many of the protections of marriage still necessary today are for reasons that should no longer be, but are, unfortunately. The inability to value each partner's contribution, whether or not it results in a paycheck, is one. The "ownership" of offspring is another. The equitable division of property. Our out-dated structure of marriage no longer covers the changing face of relationships. Many marriages are not based on the dad-works-mom-raises-the-kids Cleaver standards. Second marriages bring other issues, such as protecting the inheritance of children of the first marriage. So, it seems, the majority of marriages today really need some fine-tuning.

Marriage is a contract. Actually, two - the one made for the state and the one made in the eyes of your religion of choice. One needs little negotiation. The other needs to be negotiated thoroughly from the beginning, and re-negotiated to maintain equity as circumstances change. To some, this may seem cold and unemotional. But doing so gives the parties the opportunity to re-commit, to remind each other of the spiritual and emotional reasons they chose to join their lives in the first place, especially when people are living longer.

We all, now and then, need a little reminding of what's truly important to us.

apophenia: San Diego mayor backs same-sex marriage

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