Jun 27, 2002

Jun 26, 2002

Took kidlet to the library today for her volunteer work and came back with 3 China Bayles mysteries that I have not yet read. Goodbye, reruns - hello, settling in with a good book.

The dreaded report card came today. Not too bad, although there was one very unacceptable grade due to a lack of interest in turning in assignments. No excuses. The rest was ok, but with a little more effort could have been great. So the summer is definately going to be one of buckling down and taking a ride on the responsibility train. Now that the official teenage years have begun, we're taking the "Get Real" challenge.

Of course, we will also be learning how to get out and have fun. We have both spent too many years in a wash of gray, too much muddling of responsibility and leisure. It's time to make clearer distinctions between the two and see where the two can sometimes be one, owing to one's true passions, not laziness.

Jun 25, 2002

This is important. Go read. Now.

Um, what happened to my archives? I have to work damn hard to be this boring...

A fun new meme, which I found thru Miguel: put "[Your Name] is" in a Google search and come up with a rather humourous list...or scary, maybe...

Ro is boring
Ro is 100% independent
Ro is on the right track
Ro is greater than 1
Ro is cheaper than IX
Ro is realistic
Ro is an arrogant bitch
Ro is very effective at removing inorganic materials
Ro is the mouth
Ro is a bit more sanguine
Ro is a serious responsibility

Jun 24, 2002

Monday Mission

1. Do you wear glasses/contact lenses? If so would you consider going through Lasik surgery? (Or if you already have, please tell us about it)

Yes, but no. I can stick my finger in my eye, no problem, but keeping my eyes open while a laser beam is at work - just can't fathom that.

2. Did you ever have to wear braces? How are your teeth? (any cavities, any pulled teeth, root canals, etc.)

Almost wore the braces, but since the problem was really with my jaw, there was no guarantee they would work. Yes to cavities, not because I don't brush but because my teeth formed with miniscule "pockets" and there were no water-pick type hygiene products back in the "olden days".

3. What (if any) recent movies have moved you emotionally? Which one and how so?

Can't really think of anything - I usually only view movies to relax and de-stress, so I go for the humorous or mystery type flicks. Nothing too emotionally stirring.

4. I visited my dear Mema in the managed care facility Sunday and while she is doing well, I was sad for her. Living out your final days/years someplace like that seems so lonely to me. Would you rather live the remainder of your golden years in a rest home, or pass away before it came to that?

I plan to live a good, long life, be audacious and witty to the end, and die in my sleep.

5. Sometimes, but not nearly often enough, I will just stop and marvel at the amazing planet on which we live. The eco-system, life and death, nature, the perfect balance that keeps us alive, the universe, it can all be mind-boggling if you let your mind get carried away. What natural creation or phenomenon just flat-out leaves you with a sense of wonder?

I am amazed at the power of water - how it can carve out canyons and make jagged stones smooth as glass. Yet its calming effects are just as strong.

6. Have you ever been in a fist fight or a situation where you had to get physically violent with someone else? How did that come about? Any consequences?

No - although I have had boyfriends try to pull the macho man routine. I was not impressed.

7. Many times I look back in hindsight and think of how I should have handled a situation. Are there any recent happenings that you wish you would have handled differently? What happened and what do you wish you'd done?

The kidlet's friend - I wish I'd taken a longer look at the situation before letting the friendship develop so far. This girl doesn't have many friends and doesn't get invited to people's homes very often. Unfortunately, now I know why.

Jun 21, 2002

Well, the kidlet is out of school for the summer, and my latest project has been finding her something to do besides gluing herself to one screen or another. Since there is no budget for summer camp, and since she's at that age where camp is a bore anyway, options are limited. She's signed up to volunteer at the library and has already put in a few hours. Altho not yet too thrilled about it, I think it will grow on her since she's a helpful sort at heart and will have a chance to showcase her cleverness and skill. A few others she knows from school will be there occasionally, and altho she is not friends with them, they do share some common interests. She's not too skilled in the social department, but since she does not have the best of role models (namely, me) that's not altogether unexpected. Hopefully, this experience will help with that.

As for me, I've put the word out that I'm looking for some part-time work, just to bring enough in to get some of these bills paid and allow me to concentrate on getting this business into a profit margin. Being in business for yourself is a bitch, as all those hats weigh rather heavy on your head; it's a rare bird who is skilled in all the necessary departments - marketing, sales, accounting, customer service, amintenance, reception, administrative and all the rest. It's such a roller coaster ride, and I need the hills and valleys to even out a bit so I can catch my breath.

Jun 20, 2002

If you are a cat lover, especially of the Siamese, Hallmarks of Felinity will have you in stitches.

Jun 19, 2002

I feel sometimes as tho' I am living in some sort of hotel where the owners have gone on vacation and left the trainees in charge.

Jun 18, 2002

No, I haven't taken off for the deep, deep sea. I've discovered Google catalogues.

Jun 14, 2002

With the way things have been going the past few days (hence the lack of intelligent blogging), I'm ready to pack up and move here.

Glub.

Jun 12, 2002

Morning Mantra

I am compatant and successful. I am compatent and succesful. I am competent and successful.

I am unable to spell the damn word.

Jun 11, 2002

Rented Moulin Rouge. I only watched, oh, the first 20 minutes. Like putting my eyeballs in a blender.

Jun 8, 2002

Now this makes me want to buy a MAC...

Jun 7, 2002

For those of you who read the adventure of the tree (it's back there somewhere, and I'd link it, but I'm too damn lazy), you'll remember that I got along ok with my neighbor until his tree fell down in my yard and he denied it was his. Which it obviously was - so much so that his insurance agent was embarassed to be representing him.

The tree treachery gave way to the boundary dispute, with him refusing to mow the 2" strip of ground that I suppose he was trying to say was mine, and so there, the tree must have been mine. Problem is, it's so clearly his ground as he's also left spots that arrow in between his own shrubbery. I suppose if he's trying to say the grass is mine, then it stands to reason the shrubs must be mine too. So I guess I can move them to a location I like better - like over to the other side of the yard. How does that grab ya', you silly twit?

Well, I left the grass as it is - he must have mistaken me for one of those obsessive-compulsive lawn jockeys who mow their grass every other day and trim it with cuticle scissors for that golf-course perfection. Wake up! I mowed the lawn 4 days ago and haven't gotten out the weed-whacker yet.

Which brings me to the subject of weeds. There's a big 'ol weed growing between the arborvitae planted not too long ago (some before the tree treachery, some after.) Jovial Joe must think I left it grow there on purpose. Now, if he thinks back, he'll realize that was always the last area I cleaned up in the Spring, because it's a pain and not actually a garden - just some iris that desparately need dividing. He can see the weed from his side, but I can't really see it from mine as it's partially hidden by the tree. I just never gave it much thought.

But apparently he has. So now he's left some huge weeds growing on the side of one of his shrubs. Facing my house.

I wonder if he sits up at night, fretting and plotting his next move? I bet he sits there, sipping morning coffee and discussing strategy. I'm awfully pleased I can provide such entertainment.

But I know he's dying to pull the damn things up. So it seems I'm the only one getting a real chuckle out of it all. Silly man.

Jun 6, 2002

I got "The Look" yesterday. You know, the one designed to explode my head if only she had that talent? We were at the library - she picked out one book, a Simpson's comic book. It's entertaining, yes, but the deal is three books, and one of them must be "substantial". No fluff. So at least two more books were needed. But of course, she didn't want two more books. So in my best whispered "I am your Mother!" voice I told her "You better change your attitude on this. I am NOT letting your brain turn to mush. You pick out the books, or I pick out the books. But you need two more books!" That's when I got "The Look".

We also got the books.

Jun 5, 2002

This whole Hoopty hullabaloo has shaking my head. I do like Jon's comment, and think he's hit the nail on the head.

Maybe it's because I'm older than dirt, or maybe it's because I'm a natural born cynic. (I almost got caught up in the whole Kaycee thing, too, but that little voice kept saying "waaaiiit a minute".) So I'm checking out the site of a guy who calls himself "hoopty". Who has a ring that focuses on a woman's natural (or not) endowments. The more exposed the better. Who likes the attention of women, the more endowed the better. The sexier, the better. The prettier, the better. A general, all-around, good-time guy if I ever saw one.

Donate money to this guy? Sight unseen? I wouldn't do it if he was my next-door neighbor for the last 10 years. Party with him? Sure. Lend him my lawnmower? No way. He's definately good for a laugh. But when responsibility steps in, this is the kind of guy that's gonna check out.

All in good fun.

Mom has spoken.

Monday Memories (yeah, ok, I'm a little late. Procrastination is an art.)

Do you have a memory of being sick as a child? It might not have been anything more serious than a bad cold, or you may have had your tonsils out.. it could be anything. What do you remember?

I remember having the chicken pox and being on my grandmother's couch, but that's all for that one. I also remember, years later, having the mumps and the measles at the same time. My mother smeared some black gunk all over my throat and wrapped it in a cloth. Disgusting. One of those old-fashioned country remedies. Still have my tonsils, still have my appendix.

Jun 4, 2002

Walkaway Joe

Kimberly, I feel for you. Life is really riding your ass with lessons, but you're hangin' in. Keep it up.

As for H. - hard as it is, it's time for tough love, dear. As Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are, believe them". Goes hand in hand with "you teach people how to treat you." A Walkaway Joe will keep on walking if he never has to face the final decision to stay or go. You are not worthy of that. Yes, there's a reason he keeps coming back, but there's also a reason he keeps leaving. Only one answer, no matter how nice the reunions are, and the letters, and the phone calls, and all the rest.

Make the decision, or I'll make it for you. If you walk, keep on walking. This door ain't gonna open no more...

You need to concentrate on your children. And someone who loves you and supports you should see that and be there. Tough as it may be. He's showing you who he is. Believe him.

Jun 3, 2002

The ex called to see what we thought of "The Meeting". It's rare to see this interest - after all, he's done everything he could do to avoid any obligations whatsoever for so many years.

So, a little background. The latest trip to DR, him hoping to get a windfall in repayment of back support now that there was a lump sum payment from SS, me hoping to get thru this as quickly as possible so I could get back to reality. (Every time he's gone for some kind of reduction, he's ended up paying more. You think he'd learn.) Turns out, he's now in much of the same position he subjected me to all these years - raising a child with no help from the other parent, and not getting the child support the other parent should be paying and you know they could pay but you can't prove it. In fact, I gently brought this up during the meeting when I asked him how it felt. The look in his eyes was priceless.

Things, of course, didn't turn out like he expected. Yes, he had to pay more. Not much, but when you were expecting a windfall and end up paying...I was amazed he kept his composure. We actually had a civil conversation outside of the courthouse. I suppose his new marriage and having the responsibility of raising a child on his shoulders for a change have given him a new perspective. I also reminded him that of his 3 daughters, ours is the only one he has never done anything for.

We talked about changing that. I had originally suggested meeting the week prior to the date we actually did. That didn't work out because the New Wife "had to do something with her family". No problem. She didn't have to be there, but I thought it would be nice. I wanted to meet her outside of the courtroom, since, if this all worked out, she may be a big part of my daughter's life, and it was important that she didn't feel there were any hidden motives on my part. (Don't worry dear, I do not want him back.)

We decided to meet at a pizza place. Surprisingly, he called prior to the meeting to let me know that New Wife would be late. He didn't want us to walk in and see him sitting there alone and think he was "pulling anything". (Looking back, I don't know how much of this is coming from him or may be coming from her.) I thanked him, and we confirmed the plans.

The time comes. My daughter is composed, but I could tell she was looking forward to it. We walk in, he's already there with his daughter from a relationship after we broke up (there's a 3 year age difference.) He stands up to hug her, but thankfully doesn't push it. She's not at the age where she wants to be hugged in public my me, let alone a virtual stranger. We decide the seating arrangements and sit down to chat until New Wife gets there. Our daughter, of course, doesn't speak. Most of the talking was done thru the kids.

All things considered, it was a nice time. I did notice, however, that some things haven't changed. Specifically:

1. The "event" the New Wife had to do with her family? Turns out to be a trip to Cape Cod with her new family - namely, my ex and kids. Not, as one would originally assume, with her parents or siblings. So, as usual, he didn't really lie, just an enormous twist in perception.

2. There was little affection at that table. You wouldn't have expected it between him and me, or even between him and our daughter. But between him and the New Wife? Or the New Wife and the daughter (who's a little cutie, BTW)? No hugs, kisses, how was your day. Nada. And they apparently haven't known each other very long. It seems like they'd been together less than a year. Which in my opinion would lead to more affection - the honeymoon is still on.

So what happens now? I have my suspicions, but that's a story for another day.

Jun 2, 2002

The If Project for June

"If you could relive one day of your life without changing any of the events, which day would you choose? How willing are you to risk discovering that nostalgia has clouded the accuracy of your memories? "

The day my daughter was born. I knew at that point my marriage was not going to work. (Hell, I knew that the day the pregnancy results were in and he realized the jig was up, that if there was no meaning behind the words it was too late now.)

The reality of that situation was not pleasant. Those first few days, few months, were so stressful. I still can't look on those early baby pictures without feeling the anguish. But she is the most incredible gift, the proof that there is eternity, that love is boundless.

Jun 1, 2002

Now, it seems to me they should be able to have all the computers filtered so kids are protected. Suppose there's something you, an adult, want to look at... oh, ok, let's say porn. Well, you just go to the nice librarian and ask them to take the filters off.

But it seems some people might be too embarrassed to do that. Adult people. Full grown, responsible for their own actions, adult people. And the courts are a little worried about that.

My goodness. We certainly wouldn't want some poor 40 year old man to be embarrassed because that sweet little old librarian lady might think he wants to oogle at nekkid women. Good heavens, no.

We'd much rather the kids just fend for themselves. See what ever it is they might accidentally discover. What's a little shock, discomfort, and confusion in a child compared to a full grown adult being, my goodness, embarrassed? Better yet, let's drag poor mom or dad to stand behind them while they research their school report. Just in case.

Because, you know, we don't want that poor guy to have to be embarrassed.

I like law. But sometimes, I must admit I can't figure out what the hell judges are thinking.

There's a piece of evidence. It practically shouts guilt, and helps to proves what the plaintiff is trying to prove. But it's not allowed to be entered into evidence. Why?

Because the defense would suffer "considerable prejudice". What the hell does that mean? The jury might get the idea that because they did something that makes them look guilty, they might actually be guilty?

Isn't that the idea?